shady bathrooms

So...I wasn't supposed to post until Wednesday. But it's my blog, and I said "at least every two days" I would post - if you're disturbed by the sudden appearance of an early post, feel free to come by my dorm and I'll make you my best tea for compensation (seriously). On to today's tale (alliteration aside)...

There are at least two great mysteries which have surrounded women's bathrooms for me since I was a little kid. Firstly, what exactly is in there? I always imagined (don't know why) pink walls, a certain rosy pleasant scent, and maybe a kind woman there handing out chocolates or something. There must be something exciting because (leading into mystery #2) girls seem to love going there in groups. Is it moral support? Is there some party in there we don't know about? I suspect I will take these questions to my grave.

But I digress - today I spent a brief time in the bathroom of the upstanding Fresh Food, Inc. establishment, during which I had the not-too-small fear that I might be mugged. Shady bathrooms have always been a thing for me; really, you don't want to use them, but it's a 20 minute walk back to your dorm, and your body apparently has no sense of self-preservation. Not that I haven't had my fair share of shady bathrooms: realistically, every guys bathroom which is frequented by the public is going to have a level of shadiness to it. The toilet paper on the floor, the liquid flowing around which you hope (pray, really) is just water, the graffiti which I'm sure someone who's not me can actually read, the flickering lights...class act stuff. The best characterization of shady bathrooms is "dirty". And maybe "scary".

The only thing worse than merely using a shady bathroom is encountering someone in it. I'm there washing my hands in peace when suddenly I hear the door open. Instantly, my mind runs through every news story I've ever heard/read of people getting murdered in bathrooms. I check the mirror quickly, but the guy is already past me and in a stall. A slight sense of panic ensues, and I hasten to finish washing my hands, noting the lack of soap or towels. I rush out, my hands dripping, thankful that I don't have to face what might be the most miserable death I can imagine.

That probably sounds a bit...hyperbolic. Or just insane. But honestly, sometimes that's just where my mind runs - right to the absolute worst case scenario.

Really, way too much of my life is spent in that state. Constantly judging people, analyzing motives, assuming that just because someone could be a murderer they probably are. This gets kinda crippling after a while, because my brain just lets it keep on going past real problems into not-problems.

For example, the other day in church (Wesley Foundation...you should go check it out) we were in the middle of "meet 'n greet" time (I'm sure it's actually called something else). They had this at my old church too, where in the middle of the service the worship leader says "stand up and greet your neighbor with the love of God" or something like that.

I never really liked this part of the service; in fact, I grew to despise it. I used to think I hated it because of the short time they give you, just enough time to say "Good morning, how are you?" to someone and then turn away before they can answer. That's not really "greeting with the love of God"...it's kind of like acknowledging someone's existence. But Wesley Foundation is fantastic in that they give you 10 freaking minutes for greeting (...probably around 5 or 6, really, but it feels like 10). This should've solved my problem, right?

Well, it turns out that I was completely wrong. I didn't hate "meet 'n greet" because of the short time allotted.

I hate it because I live in a shady bathroom.

In the shady bathroom, you're never quite sure if the some other person is going to be your new BFF, or the unexpected new owner of your wallet and iPhone. And being the brilliant people we are, we split the difference and decide just not to find out. We (I) run away to comfortable places where we don't have to go through the stress and hard work of getting to know someone.

This is one of the places where Jesus really made a big deal: our perception of the world shouldn't be that of some big shady bathroom. We shouldn't live in fear, but go out and preach the gospel to the nations, knowing that ultimate authority on heaven and earth is backing us up. A big part of the gospel is community...we really should be more than willing to form communities with everyone around us, least of all Christians.

This is quite condemning for me because I'm a self-called "shadow church-goer". I don't get involved in events very much, don't commit to doing any church functions (outside of music), and really would rather I didn't have to do anything except soak in the lessons and occasionally play bass. But it seems to me like Jesus would rather I started interacting with other people more like they were people, and less like they were potential muggers.

I once heard it expertly summarized as so: Jesus was prepared for people's worst but assumed their best. It's the "benefit of the doubt", really. And let's be honest: the "benefit of the doubt" is one of God's greatest gifts to us.

...I think tomorrow something happy will be posted (Michael accused me of being too depressing). Be excited! Until sometime later...