don't forget grace

I'm sorry. I'm human, and I have failed at maintaining this every two days (at least). Stuff came up. Gainesville, then a Costello party (crazy), then homework, then Halo (they're not all good excuses...). Basically, I couldn't write again until today. Hope you're still reading though, and stay tuned because next time I'm rolling around a manifesto...more on that later. For now, enjoy this short clip of my mind running around looking for that ethereal gasp of air known as "sense".

Tonight I was eating in the school cafeteria when nearby some girls dropped their food.Technically speaking, it was an accident; insofar as they did not intentionally drop food, drink, and cutlery. From their immense, ear-piercing laughter and shrill giddiness though, I knew everyone around me was thinking the same thing: annoying drunk or just plain annoying. Worst yet, they simply stood up and moved to the next booth, neglecting to address the mess at all. Everyone around stared for a moment more, then returned to their food, sighing in a sad wish for justice.

Justice, to me anyways, meaning that they had to clean up the mess they had made (for starters). I was also envisioning some amazing incident with the cafeteria staff, complete with a harsh take-down, a command to clean it up herself, and ending in an embarrassing draw of applause from all the students in the lunch room. That would show her.

As I daydreamed this through my head, the moment came up. One of the cleaning staff, a black woman in her mid-30s who looked suitable for the task of "taking down", walked up to the mess and looked at it for a moment. To my surprise, the girl who had spilled it stood up and acknowledged it was her fault (trying to hold back laughter), quietly muttering sorry in between her giggles.

The setup was perfect. I sat with baited breath, waiting for the confrontation to play out and for the cold dish of justice to be served (pun fully intended).

"It's alright, I'll clean it up for you," the staff woman said, with a kindly smile on her lips.

...

What?! Where was the shouting? The "take-down"? The embarrassment? The lesson learned, the point made, the feeling you get when someone gets what they deserve? The justice?!

I realized at that moment how grace tends to seriously mess up concepts like "justice".

By "realized", I mean that this concept had been floating in my head for quite some time. It'd even been explicitly expressed once or twice, but this particularly moment impacted me greatly, because I was on the side screaming for blood. I felt wronged, I saw the need for justice, and I didn't even consider grace, which made things quite jarring when grace was so handily delivered. I had to stop and take a deep breath and realize that the right thing had been done.

Or had it?

By the time I had left the cafeteria and walked back to my room, my head was spinning. Ever since I was a little kid, adults have drilled two characteristics into my head as being ultimate in necessity: Godliness and fairness/justice. These two things were what we aspire to, and were really represented as God and United States of America. God provides the Godliness and our government provides the peace-keeping and justice.

And now these two ideas were in direct opposition to me.

The more I think about it, the crazier it gets. What does justice mean anyways? The Bible says we should do justice, love mercy. How does that work?

And then I snapped back to Jesus-"You have heard it said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth'. But I say, don't resist the evil man. Instead, if they slap you on the right cheek, turn the other." (Matthew 5:28, in the "Jon's Memory" translation).

I put forth that the definition of justice nailed into us from a young age entirely sucks (to quoth the vernacular). The whole process, looking back on it, is not unlike propaganda. I sincerely remember, as a younger child, asking (perhaps vocally but more likely mentally) why we kill people who murder when the Bible says to love your enemies.

I'm going to cover this more thoroughly in my next entry, a manifesto. To quickly give you a taste of what's to come: it makes me sad watching grown Christians, whom I love and respect and sincerely believe have a deep and powerful walk with Christ worm their way out of this. "The word for 'kill' and 'murder' is different," ... "Jesus was just using an example, killing murderers serves the greater good." ...we'll save it for next time.

For now, the point to get across is this: Jesus was focused on grace. On loving people, and not screaming for our idea of "justice". Did He care about Justice? Absolutely. But He didn't walk up to Zaccheus and shout at him, demanding that he pay people back, rebuking him strongly, belittling him and taking away his dignity. He befriended him. He made him believe. And Zaccheus gave back out of his own heart, his own new Kingdom understanding of what's just.

Jesus told us to follow his example. And he lived on earth by grace. And God grants us life and love and Himself, everyday, by grace. Because we've all sinned, and fallen short.

So long until next time, once again sorry for the delay. The next one should be a biggie...Stay tuned!