Writing about high school as though I were some 40 year old looking back on the vast expanse of my life and reminiscing about the days back when I didn’t care about anything feels silly. That being said, I aim to put forth here in a few sentences a few things I’ve learned since my time in that 4-year stupor ended, and since my eyes were blinded by the light of the real world.
1: There is no secret.
I’m opening with the big one, the one that I want no one (especially you high-schoolers) to miss. As a teenager, I used to look to adults and assume they knew something, some secret or piece of knowledge, which guided them through life, telling them exactly what to believe and how to act and what to do. Not all adults, but the smart ones, like my parents and my teachers and the president and what-not. Here’s the true secret: no one really knows anything.
Now, I know you may read that and think “Well, duh”, but you really have to believe that it’s true – no one really knows what they’re doing. A few people think they do, but they’re badly mistaken. Every adult you’ve ever known, from your parents to your friends parents to your teachers and maybe even a few friends, knows exactly as much about how to deal with life as you do. The only difference is they’ve had a few more mistakes to inform them of exactly what not to do – you have to start making mistakes before you know that. But you do that already, learning from your mistakes. It’s why you won’t go running after eating a bowl of pasta again after that miserable P.E. class in 9th grade. It’s why you won’t tell Anna what you think about other people anymore after she ratted out your rants to those you were ranting on. “Adults” just have the benefit of having had more time to do stupid things to learn from.
2: Don’t be terrified to question your faith or beliefs.
You’re going to college. If you’re not going to college, then you are (hopefully) at least going somewhere new and exciting.
Within this culture, it is often taken for granted that, when you finally leave the warm embrace of your home and venture out into the new, exciting, sometimes scary world, you will reject some of your parents’ beliefs. First things first: this is not necessarily a bad thing. Before I garner the intense hatred of every parent who reads this (including my own), note the “necessarily”. The act of changing your beliefs in and of itself means nothing – in fact, what it really means is that you’re forming your own opinions on things. And the fact is, it’s better for you to disagree with your parents with your own opinions than to “agree” with them by parroting what they believe.
That all being said though, don’t disregard your parents’ advice lightly. Remember what we said up there? They have made more mistakes than you. The sad fact is, most of the time your parents tell you something is a bad idea, it’s because they’ve already done what you’re about to try, and they know what will happen. It’s like in horror movies when the idiotic blonde girl is still going through the mansion, never turning around despite all the warning signs. You want to shout at her “TURN AROUND YOU COMPLETE IDIOT”, because you know the story. You know exactly what will happen to her, and it’s not good. So there you have it: you are your parents’ horror movie. Don’t be the ditsy blonde.
With faith specifically, my opinion has always been that if you’re faith isn’t strong enough to take some questioning, well, it’s not very strong then, is it? Be careful, though, of just getting one side of an argument and immediately giving up. Let’s say your professor offers irrevocable proof that God is not real. Okay, think about it. Digest it. But don’t give up on your faith just because you don’t have a response. Ask around. Talk to your parents, talk to your friends, talk to hip college pastors with weird facial hair. Really try to understand both points of view (one of my favorite things to do is to defend both sides of the argument).
But don’t be afraid for your faith to change. Don’t be afraid to make adjustments to it if you are convinced that it does not violate the basic truths you know. Which leads us into this:
3: Separate core beliefs from fringe beliefs before you go in.
It will make your life so much easier. The difference between core and fringe beliefs is that core beliefs you must be unwilling to compromise on. Fringe beliefs, on the other hand, are “doctrine”: church (extra-biblical) teachings that change all the time (e.g. the earth being the center of the universe used to be doctrine). Here’s a few examples to get you started.
Jesus was the Son of God: core, or fringe belief?
Genesis is a completely literal telling of the beginning of the world: core, or fringe belief?
The earth is 4000 years old: core, or fringe belief?
Obviously I’m catering to a very specific market of beliefs, but whatever your belief or belief system is, don’t be afraid to go through and mark off what you’d be willing to change presented with enough evidence and what you “intrinsically know”.
That seems like enough to get you started, right? I like this idea of protips for the invading freshmen, so I’ll keep you all posted as more things come to mind.
