My cheery friends and ever hilarious parents would probably at this point (were this a real conversation) point out that, to them, I don't have any "struggles" with my opinion on war: it's wrong, and I don't think twice on that. But this gets to something that lately has been bugging me, ever since I got into a completely unrelated argument with a good friend of mine.
We were talking about the beginning of the world (you know, usual coffee-shop banter), and whether we interpreted Genesis One as literal or figurative. My friend made a few notes, greatly hinting towards what he believed on the subject, but ultimately refused to define his actual standpoint. This, rather tellingly, frustrated me.
"You have to have a perspective, Taylor".
"Well, I do have one, I just see a lot of people around me who rush into ideas or beliefs without taking the time to think about and understand them."
Taylor, as much as I hate to admit it, is completely right (not that I begrudge the truthiness of his statement, just that I begrudge admitting he made a true statement). But, his application of this truth is different than mine, for this one crucial point: I believe the best way to understand an argument is to defend it.
In fact, when I get married and have children, I'm going to have an eternal rule in my household. At any point in time, during any argument, either party can say "Switch", and the two have to momentarily switch sides of the argument. The idea is that, having to defend something as your own belief, you will gain appreciation for what the person is trying to say. It won't (and shouldn't necessarily) always make you change your opinion, but (especially in heated arguments), it brings a level-headed demeanor to the whole thing. And it's a practice I strive for all the time (sometimes without thinking about it).
You see, once I hear a point of view, I try to reason it as my own belief which I am defending - abortion, homosexuality, warfare, politics, religion...as much as we hate to admit it, there are always two sides to every argument. Unwillingness to consider the other side means either you've never been taught to do that, or you're subtly afraid that your argument won't hold up as good as you think it does once you're the one probing it. Because you know exactly where to probe your own positions, because you defend them. You understand them.
This all comes back to my opinion on warfare, and everything else for that matter. People tell me I'm strong-headed, and immediately take sides in any discussion. That's true, but I never do it out of instant conviction or belief: I do it because I know it's the best way to hold an intelligent discussion on the subject, and more importantly the best way to understand whatever the position is. So with the warfare discussion, I am (honestly) constantly reasoning out the other perspective, considering it deeply and trying to defend it against my own inquiries. So far, it doesn't usually hold up, but occasionally it'll help me think of something I didn't before, which I can then pray about, consider, talk to my people more mature than I, and eventually come to a conclusion. Sometimes that conclusion means changing my belief just a little bit, or maybe even changing it a lot. More than once I've thought I would have to change my belief, but talking to my dad I realized that the point didn't actually mean anything.
So, to all you who call me "argumentative", this is why. Because argument ("discussion", if we're being polite) is the best way I know of to gain a logical and realistic opinion on any subject, and understanding the other side seems to be a talent our culture has lost.
